I read something recently that was so very freeing.
Exploding mythes we tell ourselves of the "way they ought to be" rather than the way another person really is and challenging the feeling that it's our responsibility to oversee changes in their beliefs or behavior, attitudes and actions, Martin Laird writes: "There is a certain wisdom that settles into a life that does not attempt to control what everybody else ought to be thinking, saying, doing or voting on. Wisdom, health, life and love cannot be found in trying to control the wind, but rather in harnessing the wind in sails of receptive engagement of the present moment" (Into the Silent Land, p. 61).
To wield that kind of control of another and do so for their genuine good is beyond most of our skill sets, exceeds our levels of experience and is above our pay grades.
Ours is to wait and watch, to observe the Wind of God's Spirit blowing in them and then help them to set the sails of their soul to best enable power of God's Spirit wind to take them where He wills them to go to His glory and their joy.
It's about our cooperation not our control.